Sunday, November 30, 2008


The Accüsed 'The Return of Martha Splatterhead' 1986, Subcore Records

This record is one of the greatest thrash records that ever happened. Without question or any funny stuff, this slays shit apart, it totally rules and is pretty important for the development of thrash and such, as this was some crossover shit at the time. They were from Seattle, this is one of the fastest and most devastating thrash attack masterpieces to date, its mean as shit and snotty and just blistering. Everything full speed, it is like a goddamn razor blade slicing your eyeballs. They had been a band since 1981 or so but then this dude Blaine Cook joined up after his band Fartz broke up, and so then the Accüsed fucking took it to the next because dude is a ruthless singer and they got faster and heavier, more metal and shit. Around this time (mid 80s), they blew it apart so hard that they coined the term 'splatter rock' to describe their sound because everybody was freaking out trying to figure out if it was still hardcore or if it was metal. But like who gave a fuck because it destroyed so hard you know?! Punks, metalheads, skateboarders, everybody loved that shit. Plus they had made up this character Martha Splatterhead, which obviously rules, you couldn't fuck with them at all. I would go as far to say that the Return of Martha totally kills 99% of thrash records that come out today, who are just trying to imitate it anyway, more or less. And most of us were learning how to talk at this time, how about that. I've been banging this record for a few years, I learned about Accüsed when Kylesa covered 'Judgement Day' off the 'More Fun than an Open Casket Funeral' LP (87, right after Return, another fucking bad ass record) and then it was on. I hadn't listened to the whole thing in a few months and did so the other day on my drive back home for the holiday, it raged so hard that I realized I was going 90 miles and hour, I was like oh no. Total frenzy style annihilation of the listener. Apparently their live show back in the day was fucked up, like real crazy, shit getting torn up everywhere. Unfortunately the vinyl will cost you about five million thousand dollars or so, as this is quite the historical relic... its been in my 'dream stack' for mad long. The point is, that Return of Martha Splatterhead rules, do yourself a favor and find that shit somewhere and throw a brick through a window or something appropriate. "...Ignore my warning/pay the price/ The payment to Martha/your worthless life"

And this week with,
Imperial Lord Witchyard
10. Testament - The Legacy: Bay Area thrash from '87. Their first and only good album. This shit will make you realize the 80's were better in some ways.

9. Kreator - Extreme Agression: This shit is the apex of German thrash. Started up in '82 and are still playing if you can get past all the bullshit they play now.

8. The Haunted - The Haunted Made Me Do It: What do you do when you break up from the greatest death metal band of all time? Start a sick and heavy thrash band, fucking duh.

7. Overkill - Under the Infulence: The singer sounds like he should be in Iron Maiden, but the fucking guitars rip your asshole.

6. Possesed - Seven Churches: Is it death? Is it thrash? It really is both, and started the seperation between the two.

5. Slayer - Reign In Blood: You know it. It's over played, but that isn't the records fault.

4.The Crown - Crowned Unholy: This band started like this. "Hey, we are Swedish, and therefore can play any metal genre and it will fucking rip." This album is as heavy as you can get while still play thrash. Makes me wish I was a biker outlaw.

3. Death - Scream Bloody Gore: Orlando fucking sucks, but these guys didn't.

2.Venom - Black Metal: The album that started it all off. Gotta give big ups to one album that is the origin of thrash, black, and death metal.

1. Metallica - Master of Puppets: Fuck. Drink. Destroy.

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