ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Mayhem 'De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas' 1994, Deathlike Silence

Greetings and salutations my friends. This week we got a smashing example of something both excellent and unholy- Mayhem's De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. This is Norwegian black metal. Sort of like what Zeppelin is to stadium rock, Mayhem gets the clout for doing that to black metal. This is mainly because of the suicide, killing and conspiracies to burn churches that this band was either involved in or associated with at the time. It is what it is. Anyways with that out of the way, how about how much this record rips. I was already familiar with Venom and shit but when I heard this I was like whoa shit. To be honest it blew me away...nonstop furious grinding black metal that just sounds fucked up, you know that shit is fucked up, it sounds 'evil' just to be classic with it. Plus it is surrounded in mystery and all kinds of fantastic controversy which no doubt adds to the allure of a Satanic metal record. But for real, every song on this album mutilates your head, it is so fierce and raw and it is so heavy as fuck that it is impossible not to think of all sorts of negative shit when you listen to it. And that is a powerful thing, not just any band can do that. Listening to this record's drums is straight up being incarcerated, and the guitar/bass work is equally mad murderous. But this record came out at a strange time in Mayhem's history. The suicide of vocalist Dead had altered Mayhem's line up on this album to include all sorts of guests, Euronymous (guitar) and Hellhammer (drums) the surviving members. Attila Csihar [see sunn o))) Dømkirke] did the vocals and Count Grishnackh (Varg Vikernes of Burzum) played bass. After the album was recorded in early 93, Vikernes stabbed Euronymous over twenty times, killing him, and pushing the release of De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas to mid 1994. A strange scene indeed, but a highly recommended album in this also strange world. As it is legendary, there are some represses of this album available so its around. But to my knowledge, only the dark lord himself can help you acquire the album's first pressing , so you can forget about that, unless of course thats how you roll.

and this week with,
our eastern brother doctor d
----------------------------

10. Jammies - Back in the states I usually slept in some undies or in the nuuuuuuude. But because my apartment in Japan is made of paper, glue, and ghosts I need some extra insulation. And that came in the form of some sweats that keep me nice and warm while I think about you and tug that meat.

9. Farming simulators - I am the only person I know that likes these games. Why that is, I have no idea. There is a rare form of satisfaction that comes from farming virtual crops, upgrading your farm house, petting your animals, and macking on virtual babes.

8. Languages - There is a real good feeling that comes from working hard at developing skills in a foreign language and then being able to use said skills to chat with foreign folks, or play foreign farming simulators.

7. The Watchmen - In anticipation of what looks like a great movie, I started reading the real graphic novel. The canon. It's awesome, I suggest you read it too.

6. Capsule toy machines - In the states they are usually filled junky jewelry and candy as old as you are. They are a big thing in the land of the rising sun. Yesterday I bought a capsule. Tucked inside was a tiny, bikini clad, erotic anime figure.

5. The weather - I am a huge fan of the sun. That glowing orange chump is one of my best buddies. But I also love the snow, so this past week has been great. Everyday I have been put to bed with beautiful falling snow, and woken up with that orange buddy.

4. Tattoos - Has this been on a top ten yet? Tattoos let you customize your body like you would customize your desktop or your honda civic (jk dude). Tattoos are a great way of remembering times in your life. Tattoos go well with anything: shirts, hats, arms, legs hair, beer, videogames, sunday, friday, food, mom, dad, cats, dogs, etc.

3. Hospitality - Being invited over for dinner, being pushed to eat and drink even after you have reached maximum capacity, and then finishing it off with some laughs and conversation is a fabulous experience. This has happened to me a number of times since I came to the yellow lands, and it is a damn good time.

2. Gifts from the homeland - I recently received a few treasures from you folks in Atlanta and I am damn pumped on all of it. Thanks to all of you chumps for thinking about me even when I'm on the other side of the world. I also have gifts for you folks and you can receive your gifts when you come here and I give them to you in person.

1. Visitors - Don't get me wrong I am having a great time in Japan, but there is one thing that has been missing since I got here: clowning. Two half-pint jokers arrived here two days ago and it has been non stop laughs. One amazing thing about Japan is you can talk about absolutely disgusting things in crowded places, at full volume and nobody around understands a word of it. Things like: dog fucking, cat fucking, child fucking, shit eating, molesting, fucking dead things, etc.