Sunday, March 7, 2010

XARLAKK War Journal Entry #1

Here are some collected thoughts of mine, about my own religious cult. To the readers of this, you may or may not know me, but if you do then you know that I am one of the few remaining wizards left on this toilet earth that possesses the set of pure occult magick skills necessary to produce one of the most sacred objects known to humankind- the PAUSEBUTTON MIXTAPE. It kills everything. I am proud of fewer accomplishments ever in my life, than to have an archive library of these tapes, crafted by myself and all of like 5 or 6 other wizards I know. What is a pausebutton tape, you ask? Well in few words, it is a proof that you can have as testament to your dedication to records, and therefore to sound in general, and your endless worship of that. A 'normal' mixtape rules, everyone knows that, even if you haven't made or received one in 15 years (1995 being the death blow to the cassette tape, assassinated by imposturous bastard known as the CD), but this is not that. It is a mixtape times infinity. Anyways let me remind you all that the cassette tape is the direct cousin of the LP, part of the analog dynasty that has dominated recorded sound since the beginning. Cassettes (French for 'little box') rule harder than anything except records and if you don't think that, then fuck off. And the mind warping intrigue as to how tapes work is magic in itself. Like the epic journey of the needle through the grooves of the vinyl, the amazing odyssey of magnetic tape spools rolling through the plastic housing and registered by magnetic heads inside of stereo is fucking insane. What the fuck. It is mystical and like other divine concepts, will forever be mysterious and holy. And in holiness, the idea of the pausebutton tape is to fill every nano millimeter of tape with a sound, blurring them all together through harnessing dark sciences that transfigure a magick, endless sound, (60 or 90 minutes, or 120 if you are on maximum wizard) all made possible by the sacred Pausebutton. Endless one second sounds, seamlessly mixed together to make some fucked up sounding shit. You can play songs out on it, but for it to be a true Pause tape, you probably wouldn't because you would just chop them all up and make new rhythms and sew all the blips and whatevers together into a one of a kind deadly rhythmic beast. I am not going to call it a 'sound collage,' because that devalues it; it is more like a sonic weapon, finely tuned on every minute detail for maximum damage. Visualize the sound within the cassette, as overlapping scales on a giant serpent's body. The process requires an endless cycle of pause/unpause/rewind/play/rewind/record+play+pause and this can easily corrupt the mind. The enormous task of making one of these tapes is on par with a rocket launch. It is that big of a deal because by the end of it, endless hours of precise ideas and execution of those ideas manifest in a cataclysmic explosion of monolithic proportions- the completed pausebutton tape. The satisfaction of finishing one of these is akin to that of an athlete winning a gold medal at the Olympics. The mind and the body are destroyed. And then the sacred ritual known as "The Listening of the Pausebutton Tape" may commence, which is more uplifting than all of the world's religions and their church services happening simultaneously. I promise all this shit is true. Anyways I just conquered the dragon once more- I will give you one for a trade if you hit me up. And alas, here are some visual depictions of some private stock. These motherfuckers are the best things in the world and if you get one then you are blessed with the sacred Eye of the Beholder. This is a Lost Art, and so if you keep it alive you are pretty much a soldier in a Secret War. The End.


Destructo said...

right on brother. keep on keepin' on.

-D & P

sixtythreebears said...

ive only listened to the first side so far and my monolith already exploded all over the place

30cent tape heads on smash said...

cassette poetry the likes of only a true king of the II button could tell

also, the singular tape in question is for real probably the dopest pause button joint ive ever heard

Anonymous said...


can anyone tell me which is the best counter strike guide ? :)...i found this one :

What do you believe pitilessly it ?

Thanx in advance

Sorry for my bad english :s

the xarlacc said...

bad english mane, get out of here, this ain't about that shit you Markus